True but thats because hes a fetus.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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