yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
