It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
