I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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