You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
