So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
whose parrot is this?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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