8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
