I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
