I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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