my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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