i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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