after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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