I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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