when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
