Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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