Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
