Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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