I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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