I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
