How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We had sex on a dog bed..
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
