She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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