God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I didn't notice because vodka
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
