wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
