fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
