I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
