I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
