Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
