Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
