i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
so much tequila, so little girl.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
