Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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