these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
