Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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