Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
