in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
