I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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