...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
