you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
