I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
