I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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