We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
