If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
