Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
