My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
