took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
