He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
