I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
