Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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