Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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