he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
