someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
