Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
